But wait, there's more!

A door-to-door salesman came by today.

Naturally he knocked when I had just hopped out of the shower, so I rushed around and pulled on the nearest available clothes before I opened the door. Yeah. A powder pink baby tee and a pair of long, red basketball shorts. It was high fashion, y'all.

Factor in two barking/growling/wanting out the door Rhodesians, and it was probably a pretty comical exit from my house to the front porch. Not to mention the fact that my feet were clad in my trusty leopard-print houseboots. (they're not houseshoes--they're houseboots. true story.)

But. There, with barely controlled soggy hair, a horribly mismatched color scheme and my houseboots, I was ready to listen, bells on.

It's true that there for a moment I considered not opening the door.

I really did think about letting him keep on knocking. While my dogs went berserk and tore down every available curtain/mini blind on the west side of my house to get a better look at the offender. It was sorely tempting, window treatments aside. But I've got some serious respect for people who go door-to-door to make a living. I mean, like, SERIOUS respect.

I couldn't do it.
I'm getting nervous and red and sweaty just thinking about it.

I know loads of people are naturally better at talking to strangers than I am. Though it still has to be a little daunting, especially because regardless of your pitch, factors beyond your control influence the potential buyer's decision*. There have been times when I really wanted to buy something, but financially I couldn't swing it. Even though I really, really wanted to. Ah, life.

As it happened, this salesman was really aggressive with whatever he was selling (honestly not sure I could tell you). It took about five seconds for me to realize that whatever it was, I didn't need it. Dude, however, was not to be deterred. At one point, he actually started trying to invite himself in my house** (we were both on the front porch, the door to the house closed. sometimes I can stifle my upbringing and not invite strange people inside and put a beverage in their hand. sometimes.) (common sense, FTW.) I would have been impressed with his tenacity if it wasn't holding me up from my day.

Short of getting irritated, I did what anyone with seven puppies in the backyard would do.

I tried to sell him a puppy.

That, my people, is the unspoken magic trick.

Not only did he bring his rather aggressive pitch to a screeching halt, but he left shortly thereafter.

The only downside to the situation was that he didn't take one.

Apparently we're both bad salespeople.

~~

Currently listening to: Kelly Clarkson--What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)


*Sounds like publishing, no? Just be thankful we can email query, rather than go door-to-door with our pitches.
**This would have solved the problem. I guess he didn't hear the 160 pounds worth of growl and teeth on the other side of the door. When I walked back in, Bella and Roo were both laying side-by-side, facing the door. I love those crazy dogs.

Because I've nothing to say besides

Hai.

Have a good week!

~Roo

Character Traits: The Baddest of the Bad.

this is mah worried face. im so cuute.

Meet Roo. (He's that adorable bugger on the left, pictured at 9 weeks old.) (Roughly 70lbs ago...eeee!)

Roo is adorable.

Roo is funny.

Roo is Bad.

Roo is, above all things, a character.

The Rundown.
Name/Aliases: Lord Remington LaRoo of Tsavo. Roo. Rooster. Rue. BadDog. MarleyWho? Torpe Torpedo. No (<--- this is the one he answers to most often.)

Puppy Group: Rhodesian Ridgeback

Character Traits

• Positive: Fun-loving, outgoing, energetic. Loves a good walk. Great companion. Excellent jogging buddy, crumb-picker-upper. Happy ALL THE TIME. Adorable. Good with kids and strangers. Low Key.
• Negative: (These are the faults, because every character needs them.) Demanding. Juvenile. Only barfs on the carpet, never the tile. Has terribly destructive affinity for cords of all colors and constitutions. Chases the DemonCat. Tail Wags at perfect height to clear coffee table in one swoop. Eats flipflops with unbounded passion. Enjoys un-potting grandma's flowers and other plantlife. Digs deep and random holes in the backyard, much to the chagrin of momma when she's walking around outside without the usual Constant Vigilance.

The Skinny: Roo is the happiest dog I've ever met. He also is the only dog I've ever wanted to strangle because he escaped and ran off for 4 hours while I was at home at my parents*. He has, in no uncertain terms, been the most destructive canine I have ever owned. However, all the negatives are off-set by his intense adorability (OH HAI, FAKE WORD!). Some days it's his only redeeming quality. (Well you know, besides being so happy all the time.) Even when he does something atrocious, like eat momma's netbook charger (the only one I have), his adorableness only decreases by two points for thirty seconds. That's the power of adorable, people.

In short, this is a fake blog post about characters. Okay, that's not true. This is a real blog post about (sorta) real characters. Make them real. Make them awesome. And make them adorable**.


hai. im bad.

*he returned unscathed, and (of course) happy as a lark.
**If they are villains, then this:

Hey, even villains need to be adora--erm...have redeeming qualities. Or at least a motive as to why they assassinate da flipfloppers. And when I did this in paint the ball and chain weren't floating, promise.

Hello, bloggosphere

Yep. It's happened. After all this time resisting, I've finally decided to get a blog. (Obviously.)

Welcome!

I won't say that this will be one of those profound, deeply terrificallywondiferous blogs. Quite to the contrary, in fact. I’m on a journey to become a published writer, and I’m sure there will be huge potholes along the way. Like monumental, ginormous quicksand-filled pits with vipers at the bottom.

Pit vipers.

But I digress.

However, like most things worthwhile, the work is worth the gain (fingers crossed). I’m currently working on a time-travel romance. Writing a straight-up romance is new for me—I’ve tried my hand at UF, YA, and thriller/suspense. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to make up my mind. Stick around here long enough and you’ll see that for yourself.

Anyways. My dog (LittleMonster) is eating one of my shoes. Until next time,

~l